Reflecting on His love...

Oh this is your calling! I heard this from others after speaking this weekend and felt encouraged and then ran to my God! What are we to do when God calls us to something? In reading about Gideon in Judges this morning; I began reflecting on my own life and how I feel the desire to encourage those around me…first my children and husband and others that I know God puts in our lives to encourage.

I cannot focus on all of that—for it is overwhelming. Praise God we can take these emotions to God...and I did just that. I sensed God nudging me to just look at myself and my relationship with Him and everything else will fall into place...hmm the jingle is coming..

Seek first...the Kingdom of Heaven...and all shall be added...

As I reflected on what I read this morning. I found it interesting that when God called Gideon to be His hands and feet; the first thing that he needed to address was idol worship. I was thinking about what our idols are this present day...what do we measure ourselves to...is it God or something else?

Later, as I was taking the boys to school; I heard my son’s friend commenting on how much my son reads…he asked how many hours of reading he had as the school has the kids keep track of the reading hours and rewards them for reading 100-200 hours by the end of the year. It was apparent to me right away that the boys were comparing their reading hours.

Oh, don’t we even do this as adults…do we compare and see if we are measuring up? Oh Lord, I so do not want to allow myself to stand next to anyone but you. I don’t want to feel either encouraged or discouraged because I put myself up against someone else…I had to encourage my son and remind him to focus on himself and what God wants him to do… and as I reminded Him I reminded myself.

God is speaking to me about something great here…you see whether I sense that someone in my life is saying, “What you did was awesome!” or “That could have been better,” or “I love you” or “I hate you” or “I believe in you,” or “I don’t believe you,” or “I so understand you,” or “I don’t understand you.”

I don’t want to be either filled up or depleted by any of this chatter…I only want what matters in my little sensitive and intuitive heart to be what God has put there. All the chatter can be distracting—it can surely distract us in hearing what God wants to say and I don’t want to miss what He has to say…because I know IT IS GOOD!!!

Sometimes I feel like a child…and I know I am God’s child; still a fairly new one that needs to hear how much He loves me. And although God may often use His other children to tell me they love me…I want to know His love and stand confident in this love every day regardless of what I hear from others.

Then, maybe, I will not need to ask my friend how many hours he has read. For, whether I have read little or alot it cannot change how much God loves me!

I sense a truth resonating within my heart…for I know that if my life is intertwined with His, He will help me stand confident and unashamed and I won’t sink when I hear devastation and I won’t rise falsely on deceptive highs. For, I know my consistent conversations with You, God brings about John 15:11, “I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” Oh, tell me…tell me Lord…I so do want to hear. May you fill our lives with your love so we can speak nothing but loving encouraging words to one another—and remove the desires we may have to compare ourselves to one another. Help us grasp this and help us teach this truth to our children. Whether my friend has read less or more than me…it does not matter…for God loves us both!!! May we all know, reflect and rely on, the love God has for us! (1John4:16)

Thank you for Your Love!

Journey through the trees...as a tree?

Probably because there are still so many unplanted trees sitting in our backyard I felt my eyes gazing upon so many trees on my walk yesterday (And Arizona is not known for its trees...I remember seeing many more when we lived in the NW). Then I read Psalm 104:16 "The trees of theLord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted."

Oh do I desire to be a well-watered tree with fruitful branches Lord...I praise you that in reading Your Word I find more and more reason to praise You...in reading Psalm 118 alone, I composed this:

With God I am Free

With God I am Fearless

With God I am Helped and have a Helper

With God I am Strong

With God I am Full of Joy

With God I am Victorious

With God I am Lively

With God I am Protected

With God I am Thankful

With God I am Answered and this means Understood

With God I am Glad

With God I am Rejoiceful

With God I am a Shining Light

With God I am Loved and able to Love

Giving thanks to You Lord...for Your Love Endures!!!

I am honored to be on this journey and I surrender to this journey.

I am Yours! Plant me, prune me, water me...

Reaching Our Candy Land

God just brought some things full circle for me. I heard my boys up a little earlier than normal this morning and they were talking about something. A little while later they came running down the stairs with their voices full of sunshine, “Good Morning Momma!”
My oldest exclaims, “I’m going to do something special this morning…I’m going to baptize JD!” Then JD pipes in, “Yeah, I want to go to heaven and eat all the CANDY I WANT!!!”

I chuckled inside and made a note to myself remembering a conversation I had the day before; and talked with my boys over breakfast about baptism and living for Jesus. I love seeing God’s Spirit move in, around and through my children…I think God does this to remind me that He loves me! Hallelujah that this is how I started my day!! Praise you Father, you are truly WONDERFUL!!

I remembered a conversation I had with a friend the day prior about desiring to be with God more than we desired to have that candy on Friday night…I myself had way too much sugar Friday AND Saturday…hee hee. We were discussing the increasing challenge from our Pastor to read, study, and reflect on God’s Word every day.

In addition, in my own studying yesterday I was reading and meditating on the Israelites struggle to reach the Promise Land. They so often faced tough times and instead of trusting God and pushing through they whined and complained and wanted to take the easy way…even the way back into captivity. I know that my thinking can so be like that…and want to just wiggle my nose and get to a place of paradise so that I can eat all the candy that I want or be where it is comfortable. Sometimes I know that I cause myself to stumble in front of my own Promise Land (whether candy is involved or not). I know that reaching this Promise Land is not going to be free of struggles and battles and yet, I can so easily get discouraged when I face them.

I find great comfort in knowing that just like God led the Israelites; He is also leading me. Just like God knew the Israelites were prone to have thoughts to turn back when they faced opposition; God knows the same is true for me today. And I believe He is allowing some of these tough things in my life to sharpen and strengthen me.

Yesterday, I thought a lot about being comfortable and seeking my own Promise Land…and how I must be currently going in the right direction because I am feeling opposition and battling negative thoughts when negative thoughts is something I felt I was over a few years ago. I so know about taking my thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ (2Cor10:5). I have a few studies under my belt that focused on my freedom found in Christ and being aware of my thought life…yet just like the Israelites needed to be reminded. Especially when I face bumps in the road and am more prone to think negatively I need to be close to Him so He can dust me off and place me back on my feet.

Instead of my thoughts leading me down a path of death (complaining, whining, arguing)…my thoughts can be like Christ and speak life (encouragement, love, forgiveness, acceptance). My thoughts led me to His Word, to Christ, to my Helper (John 14:16) and I am choosing to not lose heart or grow weary in doing good, for at the proper time I will reap a harvest if I do not give up (Gal 6:9).

The Israelites are not the example to follow…although they do make me feel normal—and illustrate the reason we all need Christ! I know Christ is our example, He faced the desert and opposition and used God’s Word to fight His battle and in addition He did not complain or talk negatively when He suffered— He walked victoriously through every situation! And if I am abiding in Him…He can help me do the same!

I need to let that sink in…

He walked victoriously through every situation! And if I am abiding in Him…He can help me do the same!

*I think I will continue to talk to my kids about this and model the way of continually seeking Him in His Word; because I KNOW following Christ is so much more than reaching heaven and getting to eat all the candy you want!

Climbing

Visuals…I love to get good pictures in my mind…they help me. Visuals from God especially help me focus and further grasp what I feel the Holy Spirit is communicating to me. It energizes me and sometimes gives me what I need to keep going!!! This may seem weird; but I do sense that the Spirit—who lives inside me because I asked Jesus into my heart, prompts me at different times. Sometimes to either do or say something or sometimes it is to just make me aware of what I am thinking and stir in me to think a new thought.

I love to be out in the world, and in His creation—the beach and the mountains are the greatest places that I feel His communication. I remember this past summer hiking with my girlfriend around Couer d’Alene Lake and we were talking about how far God has brought us individually and even in our relationship. We try to talk weekly and pray with one another. We’ve shared both hard times and really great celebratory times together. While we were walking up this hill and really feeling the ‘burn’ we were amazed to see 2 deer cross our path about 20 feet in front of us…I instantly felt Habb 3:19 come to my mind and felt God speaking to me at that moment and had to agree out loud, “He is our strength—he makes our feet like the feet of a deer and enables us to go on new heights.”

I sense God is taking me higher and with that comes some extreme opposition from my flesh but also from forces that I cannot see, which I know are in opposition to God’s plan for me. Yesterday while teaching physical education to the elementary school kids I reflected back on the day and realized that what kids I remembered were the ones I already know and have a great relationship with; I also had a a few kids stick out in my mind; either the ones who were great helpers and what some may call the ‘teacher’s pet’ or I also cannot get out of my mind the ones who were defiant (there weren’t many for the 30 or so minutes I had each class) or just the class clowns with always something smart to say…the ones I couldn’t help but label ‘in need of attention.”

I thought of how God loves all of us as I thought of these kids and that it is frustrating to grow up in life being in the middle and feeling no attention is given to us and then at other times feeling relieved that there is no attention shown to us—we can get really comfortable sitting here unnoticed.

But, I felt the Spirit shifting my thinking just a bit and thinking of myself as the student and God as my teacher…where do I want to be as far as being noticed by the Teacher? He is desiring to take me on to new heights and I want to agree with a full eager heart…make me a ‘teacher’s pet’ because I desire to not be neither hot or cold…Rev 3:15-16. Give me a heart that acts regardless of what the class is doing and may my motivation always be to give You the glory…my sweet loving God…I want to climb for You!

Gazing as His bird...

In the crispness of this fall morning it is silent as my eyes are drawn to a bird atop my neighbors’ chimney.

There he or she is—God’s creation—basking in the sun; fluttering his wings; shaking his tail; nudging his beak within his feathers as he gazes up at the sun almost thanking it for its warmth.

Then tip toe down off of the chimney prancing down to the edge of the rooftop. I’ve never seen a bird prance like that before…he looked so confident but delicate. Then one last glance up at the source of its warmth before it leaped and spread his/her wings out to fly and glide off the rooftop…

In a weird sort of way I grew fond of this bird in a such a short time...I saw something about myself in this bird this morning. Like this bird—I am His creation—I too enjoy basking in His warmth; I too feel like I can shake off the dust when engulfed with His love; I too nudge myself to acknowledge Him and thank Him for who He is and all He has provided. Then, I too am able to jump and glide effortlessly through each moment…confident and sure…not confident or sure because of anything I can do or have done; but confident and sure because my God has gifted me with faith and His Spirit.

Off to bask in His love and glide through this day…

Smile!

I’ve recently thought about going back to school to further my education –education on life that is. And I think I want to go back to Kindergarten. I’ve heard someone say once that all you ever needed to know you learned in Kindergarten.

I watch the little hearts of these five year olds and sense their desire for approval and support. They hesitate to share what they know one minute and then exclaim with great confidence the next minute. I so can relate to that! I see simple truths clicking so quickly with my own five year old son and can’t help but pray for his little heart.

Lord, please guard his little heart from this cold-dark world. Enlighten him at just the right times and empower Him with Your Spirit to love-love-love all who cross His path even through seasons when the coldness and darkness seems to be all that is present for a time.

Just as soon as I pray for him; I feel the Sprit nudging me to do the same…I am 7 times the age of those Kindergarteners with 7 times the number of stories and 7 times the number of hurts and experiences and 7 times the number of discouraging moments and so could be prone to crawl inside my own little cocoon. Yet, all the glory to my God…my heart is still just as tender as those 5 year olds and at times my heart seems to be just as vulnerable and at the same time just as light and free because I know YOU love me!

Lord, please help me to rely on You…specifically Your Holy Spirit that dwells within me. Help me to always be quick to forgive this fallen world and love-love-love!

May the desires of my heart be more and more like Your heart and less and less from the selfish heart I was first born with!

While thinking about Kindergarten; and praying for my son’s heart and mine...my son ran up to place a sticker on my shirt. The sticker was a caterpillar that had the word “Smile” on it!

I instantly felt God smiling and loving me. It wasn’t anything mystical or anything that I felt—no direct audible message to my ear and I didnt' see Him standing next to me. But I felt His Presence in a way that I cannot even express in words—I instantly thanked Him and embraced my son in the process!!! (Isn't it so like God to love us and then cause us to love others?)

Only God can transform me and you like that smiling caterpillar on the at sticker…and even though this process takes a lifetime and is full of ups and downs… there is not a human-sized cocoon that we must enter first. Only God is able to empower us with His Spirit and equip us for freedom like the butterflies flying from flower to flower are able to experience while we are still at this phase of life living as hungry caterpillars.

Sometimes I feel like I am wandering in this world so hungry for love and acceptance and when I look to His Spirit to fill this emptiness He so comes through for me!!!

Only in Christ can we be freed in surrendering….God alone can offer us freedom in the act of surrendering!! It makes no sense; surrender and experience freedom? Yet I think my Kindergartener is beginning to grasp this concept...you know somethings I think we grasp concepts better with our heart than with our head.

I don’t know about you…but I have a desire to go back to Kindergarten and learn a few more things…and hear my God with a five year old heart.

Praise you Father that my son knows about You and knows that You love Him! I know he hears Your voice affirming Him now when he is only 5 and I can’t wait to see the man he will become because of Your love that is continually pouring into his heart!!!

Help me to love like you love…and thank you for continuing to heal this heart of mine!

Taking The First Step

Dear God,
How have I been doing? I feel like what I have desired to do in my head and in my heart I have not been able to do with my hands. And my head feels so foggy and it seems to be seeping into other places and I need it to stop…I need some clarity. Please help me take this step to clear the fog and may I keep going regardless of outside forces.
I am referring to the act of specifically allowing time for my hands to meet the keyboard. A change of schedule sometimes makes things…well out of schedule. I have missed processing my thoughts and please forgive me if I have allowed my passion for writing to wane because of some things that have occurred or maybe because of what someone may have said or done this past week or just allowed my passion to wane because I have had two kids at home while on Fall Break.
Whether I write for the audience of one or many; I know my writing makes my joy complete and my goal is to glorify You. Thank you for empowering me to take this step today to write again; for I feel the fog has lifted.
Thank you Lord for speaking through my dear friend who had no idea I was seeing the fog…when she simply said “Sometimes it just takes the act of taking that first step to lift the fog.”
You are the reason behind my writing…thank you for calling me Yours.
Sincerely,
JGirl