“Panini!” We giggled and talked about this squished grilled sandwich on a recent road trip.
I don’t normally crave bread—I just don’t—don’t hate
me. But I have found myself thinking
about it often these past few days and remembering this one deli I visited
often with some former co-workers years ago…oh they served up a yummy
Panini!
While driving home from a retreat, my girlfriend and I were talking about a story we had heard
recently and how the characters in the story reflected our lives in a way. Panini was the name that just kept coming out
when we couldn’t remember the antagonist’s name, Peninnah in the story of 1
Samuel.
You see Panini had it and Hannah didn’t—but Panini wasn’t
satisfied with what she had, and her blessing of many children surely didn’t
keep her busy enough that she had extra energy to taunt Hannah. Maybe Panini’s heart was squashed much like a
real Panini sandwich when she saw the favor her husband, Elkanah showed
Hannah. Maybe seeing this favor reigning
from the Lord on Hannah, turned up the heat in Panini’s heart stirring up all
kinds of evil and jealousy; causing Panini to ooze out all kinds of messy
emotions and words.
Is there a Panini in your life? Are you acting like Panini? (We are capable of both)
Can you handle seeing another granted favor and be truly
happy for them—even encourage them and help them?
I know at times Panini’s hot, messy, squashed heart may
resemble mine especially when I am focused on comparing my life with someone
else’s, and not fully believing and living out who I am in Christ.
I also have experienced a Panini or two squishing and oozing
their mess a little too close to my heart. It is not pretty and just so unexpected.
What do we then do with that?
Have you like Hannah found yourself praying out of great
anguish and grief? Journal pages and
hard pavement have been good places for me to pound out the Panini pain.
It hurts to be squished by or like a Panini. A Panini can squash with harsh words, looks
of disdain or maybe there are no words at all to communicate disapproval—sometimes
the absence of our encouraging words hurt the most. Or maybe, it is the ‘un-friend’ action on
Facebook, or the absence of that ‘like’ or comment on your Facebook post,
right?? (Seriously, we need to live beyond
Facebook, but it’s there isn’t it?)
In the midst of Hannah’s hurt, it says she stood
up—and, “…wept much and prayed to the LORD.” (1 Sam 1:10)
Don’t you just love that—she had the courage to stand and talk with her
God in the midst of it all! Sometimes
all I want is a good cry in my pillow.
This reminds me of what I heard singer/songwriter Beckah
Shae say on Girlfriendit Radio a few weeks back, “To see yourself the way that
God sees you is the beginning to freedom.”
(You can listen to the podcast of the "Put Your Love Glasses On," show
here).
The words stood up and stand is rising up above
the page for me both in my Bible and in my head as I think about the truth in
Beckah Shae’s comment. Freedom to stand…YES!
Stand firm, then…(Galations 5:1)
Stand at the crossroads…(Jer 6:16)
Stand firm and you will see the deliverance of the
LORD…(Exodus 14:13)
I can’t help but giggle a little as I picture this truth of
standing up and believing we are who God says we are, not what some squashed
sandwich may express to us…really?!?
I’m not sure why the word Panini has stuck with me these
last couple of weeks, but I’m giggling and I think this is good because like
Patty and Lisa also talk about on their radio show, laughter is needed to
diffuse the pain and it helps us not water the seed of pain allowing anger and
bitterness to grow. If you wanna get
your teary-eyes off the pillow and laugh
some more, keep listening to this particular
show, for Patty and Lisa chat with comedian
Kerri Pomarolli next…she is a hoot and literally
stands up for truth!
It’s time to stand up girls—seek our God who
loves us and has great things for us and take that Panini sandwich and feed it
to the birds!
(Or like me, the ducks I saw on my walk this morning—God
loves me this I know, for He reminded me this morning to quit giving the Paninis in my life any volume and feed the Panini to the
ducks! And God loves me no less or no
more than He loves you—no joke!)