Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Good Morning Sunshine!

“Hi Sunshine!” These are words that I often hear come out of one of my best girlfriends when I see her or answer her phone calls. I so feel God’s love radiate through her when I hear her voice. Since I’ve been thinking of His love for us I have also been reflecting on those in my life who clearly allow themselves to be a vessel for God’s love.

I so want to be a vessel for Him and I realize that in order for God to be able to love others through me; I need to allow Him to love me first! I used to think that because of my past I was never going to be able to love or be loved in a healthy manner...but I know many who don't share the same past as me and they too are hungry for love; hungry to be known; and hungry to matter to someone. All the same things that I have hungered for and at times still find myself hungry for...

I did not grow up learning about Jesus in my home, but without even hearing about who He was; I felt a desire to know Him at a young age. Since an adolescent I have been on a journey to find Love….and to His glory I have found His Love! Thank you Jesus!

I find it daily and know this love because it is found in God’s Word! I love reading the Bible for a lot of reasons…but probably the greatest joy in reading the Bible is finding the treasures of His love for me in His Word. I often pray His Word and insert my name like this because so many Bible teachers and authors have encouraged me to do this...

With God, I am patient, with God, I am kind….or God is patient with me, God is kind to me”1 Cor 13:4-8.

“The Lord your God is with ME, He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in ME…” Zeph 3:17.

“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, Your unfailing love for ME will not be shaken…” (Isaiah 54:10)

I could go on and on…there is such a hunger in my soul to grasp His love for me….How about you? Let’s pray this one together…

Lord, I pray that I (Insert your name )would be rooted and established in Your love, and that I (your name) would have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that I, (your name)may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph 3:17-19)

Hallelujah He has and is so willing to give us His power to know His love…even if we don’t sense it at a particular time in our journey, for whatever reason. (I so...feel His prompting to write about this later)…we can know His love because of Him and His glory, Amen!
You who look to Him are radiant... (Psalm 34:5).

Have a great day Sunshine! May you know and sense His love shining on you today!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Blowing Some Kisses

This week I was swept off my feet by my Prince. I'm not talking about by husband-but by my Savior-my God. Do you feel like He is your prince charming or your knight in shining armor? Do you feel any kisses from your King? Do you grab a hold of them and let them stick and ponder the fullness of His love?
My oldest son blows me a kiss every morning when I drop him off at school and I blow him one right back; yet this morning I realized something...he does not run off after I blow my kiss; he stands there waiting to see if I catch his kiss and stick it on my cheek. He wants to make sure that I am clearly embracing his love-his thought out effort in blowing me a tender kiss. He doesn’t want to walk away until He sees that I have caught it.

In that moment I felt God whisper “Are you catching my love?”

In this world we live in with news inundated with natural disasters and economic disasters and if I can be honest...the disasters that are real to me in my own home and in the homes of those I is so easy for me to forget that I am a princess who is deeply loved. But,since admitting my old ways of disaster and accepting Jesus as my King I know I am a princess-His princess with a particular purpose regardless of the circumstances surrounding me.
We are His daughters and we are so cared for and loved beyond what we could ever imagine. In the book of Psalms alone there are 27 references of our God’s unfailing love for us…yet how often have we felt like we have either failed and lost this love or more over that someone has failed us and we don’t deserve this love…It can be so difficult to wrap our brains around this truth. We must be in the Word to hear these truths...sometimes I know I need to hear them several times a day...and so be it if I need to hear more of His love :)

Oh sweet King please keep blowing us kisses and help us to stop and catch them and place them on our cheeks—better yet engrave them on our hearts.

Will you stop and snatch the love our King has for you? Can you let God love you and then allow Him to love others through you?
Oh Lord, please help me embrace this and live this out…thank you for reminding me that you desire for your sweet kisses to stick!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008


My girlfriend just called and left a voice mail for me, “You are probably out and about…”

I was actually, out and about taking a walk enjoying this cooler almost Fall weather. Just prior to that I was reading and remembering the days of old…oh I mean the days of my youth. The days, when I would go for a jog; and work through my emotions—pound them out on the pavement with each stride and each breath.
I took up jogging when I was 12…I ran my first race while in 6th grade and came in first…even beat the boys in my sixth grade class…and I’ve loved to run and exercise ever since. I’m sure the early years of running, playing basketball, cheerleading and teaching aerobics have taken their toll on my knees and now my jogs are more frequently just walks or jog-walks I like to call them. My physical therapist recommended that I jog for 10 minutes and then walk for 10 minute increments to keep from re-injuring my knees.
Exercise makes me feel better and it is just a great time to process and think through things. I realize how much I think…so much that I think about thinking.
All of me cries out in the moment I realize this…STOP IT!! And I sense God is saying this too!
I feel like God has placed before me recently some big things to work through and process and I’ve come to find out that he doesn’t want me to figure it all out. He wants me to trust Him and walk with Him.
He wants me to LIVE…I sense God speaking to me and reminding me of all that He has freed me of…all the weaknesses of mine that His grace covers and tenderly speaking “Live!” Ezekiel 16 speaks of this and how tenderly God speaks to Jerusalem…and how loving He was in their unfaithfulness. Oh Lord, help me embrace Your grace and therefore be gracious to others you bring into my path.
I know I fall short…we all do! I may be desiring to run and do all I can for God…my heart yearns to serve and love Him; but all my body can with stand is 10 minute increments of jogging and walking…no marathons will be run by this servant…and yet He knows that and is telling me ever so tenderly… Live!
Oh Lord, may You help me focus on what I can do and help me not to long for what I am no longer able to do…please help me Father…help me right here and right now to…Live!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

White Ladybugs?

It’s been difficult deciding what to post; I’ve been journaling so much on my own and processing through a lot with God. I’ve been participating in a very in-depth Bible Study titled Seeking Him and it is all about revival. It has caused me to journal a ton and reflect on my heart, my ever still broken heart. I am convinced that it is meant to stay that way to some extent while I am here in this broken world to remind me that I am in need of Him every second of every day.
Old thoughts, old wounds, old journal entries, old lessons have been on my mind as I read His Word with fresh eyes and ears today. Whatever season this is I am embracing it because I know He is here with me; I am His and He has freed me from my chains. (Psalm 116:16).
I admit I am not feeling the joy as powerfully today; but am still praising Him for all that He has done for me! I am remembering several of His gifts and one of them is the ladybugs he gave me this summer. He reminded me of them just a week ago while up north visiting some friends when with my boys when we spotted a white lady bug. I never knew there was such a thing…such a sweet treasure I thought, just like diving into His Word everyday finding something new that I never knew before while still clinging to the promises that I know in His Word.

The ladybug reminded me of God’s gift to me this summer seeing them on the beach every time I visited, whether it was early in the summer, late in the summer, Southern California or further north in Oregon…I saw them and thanked God for them. It seemed fitting to see a white one at the end of this season…it was different and so bizarre...for me the white symbolizes His holiness for me and my own heart surrendering to His will. Something I am so trying to focus on right now.

These past few months I have dealt with hurts, hurts from life, hurts from others and hurts brought on by myself. They seem to have risen up at different moments; but it seems to be a pretty constant thing this past season…sending me to my knees—well actually face down on the floor. I have been reminded of my need to pour out my heart out to my God and my need to stay in the TRUTH of His Word allowing Him to meet me with love and grace and cleanse what is mine and allow me to leave what is not mine to hold at His feet--all so that I can be free in Christ!!!

I was running on the beach this summer and then had an irresistible urge to take off my socks and tennis shoes and walk in the wet sand and allow the waves of the ocean rush over my tired feet. The beach was a little busy but I felt as if I was there all alone with my God. I pictured the water washing over me cleansing me and making me pleasant in His sight—this truly is the only way He can look at me…thank you Jesus! I was having my own little praise and worship time…when another older grandpaish man walked by…I instantly thought “Wow, if my dad was still alive that looks like him…” and there right after that thought was My God’s wonderful whisper…”Just as you have grown to forgive your father…surely you will forgive others who have offended you.” I wept there on the beach and thanked God for again making Himself known!!
He is so right!!! And not only can I forgive others, I can forgive myself when I have messed up because He forgives us all and died for us all. Then I saw something kind of peculiar…1 ladybug on the beach…it looked like it was drowning in the water…kind of stuck…then I saw another a few steps away….then about 30 more steps another and then maybe 50 steps away another…I began to collect these ladybugs and let them rest on my tennis shoes I was carrying. How peculiar I thought…I’ve never seen a ladybug on the beach…there are no plants around for them . I decided to take them back to the condo I was staying at and put them on the patio where there are lots of plants for them to rest on…
I began to think of the ladybugs and the children’s book titled “The Grouchy Ladybug” and how they eat little aphids and keep plants healthy. If I were a plant…Oh, how I sensed my own need of some ladybugs, I am growing at what feels like at an exponential rate right now and I think there are little aphids (possibly employed by my enemy and yours…’the evil one.’) I really could use some ladybugs to clean me up and do some work on these leaves of mine.
I felt my God nudging me…I am larger than these ladybugs and can do WAY more than they can and I am right here with you; please just ask me to help you.
God gifted me with 7 ladybugs total that morning…one for every day of the week! And yes I have challenges, struggles and difficulties in this life but I am NEVER alone…He is always right here with me and wants to help me grow! Surely He will gladly send some ladybugs to help me grow….
Just when my tears started to flood my eyes a bigger wave came in…and I saw a large whip-like strand of seaweed come in…I did not want to get tangled in it and I heard Him whisper with a voice of authority as if He was commanding me like a Bodyguard would dictate to his assignment…KEEP WALKING!!!

Oh, isn’t that just what it is all about, there are all kinds of things to entangle us in this world and the enemy is forever trying to snare us on something…but God is also there, speaking His truth into our lives and holding our hand as we take each step and grow into the flowers…or women he has intended for us to be!!!

I so need to be reminded of this…and praise God for his gifts…I have never been more in love with my Savior. And now more than ever I am especially fond of His creation…particularly lady bugs! Lord, please keep the waves you remind me of Your Presence and Your love.