Friday, June 18, 2010

Chillin' with my 3 1/2 Inch Company

“I know who is going to keep you company this week Mom!”
“Who?” I asked my little man who was staring right into my blue eyes just a few inches from my face.
And he exclaimed gladly, “The baby!”
The boys left just a few hours ago and will be gone for four days camping deep in the woods. And my son is right; just as baby is a big reason why I am choosing to skip out on this trip; he/she will be keeping me company this weekend.
Snug tight in my belly for another 5 ½ months me and baby are spending lots of time together. We spent the first minutes napping and then watching a movie. It was nice to just lounge and do nothing!
I’m taking advantage this weekend and doing lots of that. In addition, to a couple of other things, we are going to do some editing; I’m anxious to read and re-write the chapters of my book and yet I’m finding that now I am pregnant I’m a little extra emotional and I’ll need to run to the store for some more Kleenex before I begin.
I get teary eyed and overwhelmed with emotion when I think about how much my God loves me and all that He has done to demonstrate His love—but I know I don’t normally shed these many tears; so I am choosing to blame the added tears on pregnancy hormones.
Next, this baby is demanding a little bit more space and I had to break down and buy some maternity clothes and so we are going to spend some time re-organizing my closet. Putting away all my pre-pregnancy clothes for a few months in this very antique wardrobe treasure chest my husband bought me a few years ago and hanging up my new blossoming wardrobe. (It won’t be so glorious when I have to still wear it the weeks after baby arrives…I am not one of those women who bounces right back into her skinny jeans).
Then baby and I will be heading for a date with Grandma—my mom! We’ll see where baby wants to eat and then maybe some shopping and the theatre. Oooooo I can’t wait!!!!
In between that I am hoping to catch up on some phone calls and read some more of my new Francine Rivers book. I’m reading “A Lineage of Grace,” and it is FANTASTIC!!! I love how captivating eachstory line is—there are 5 stories and they are right out of the Bible….God is a great author and Francine does a wonderful job adding details that make you think deep.
So me and baby about 3 ½ inches of he or she will be chilling in the AC this hot summer weekend in AZ...keeping each other company. Between this growing belly and the occasional flip flops and poking sensations that I feel I can’t deny that he/she is here with me. As surreal as it may be and as tempted as I am to doubt that I am going to have another baby after all these years of questioning/praying/hoping…I am not dismayed.

You see, this past January I asked my close girlfriends to pray for me and our family; I knew that time was changing this late-20's body of mine that first bore children. I knew that I was content being a mother of two boys but Justin and I were praying about making things final after 7 years of trying to have a third baby. I burst into tears in front of my dear girlfriends as I spoke of the finality of this hope and realized that deep inside I did still indeed have a desire for another baby; yet I told God over and over that I never wanted to long for something that He did not have for me-so if the answer is no, I will accept it with joy!
Now 6 months later, and there is no denying that I am with child. As I lay quiet and resting this week, I heard His Word which spoke as a whisper in the deepest recesses of my mind and heart and I’m declaring this baby a miracle of God's power and love…
“This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD’s name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.” (Isaiah 55:13)
Makes me ponder the things in our minds that we try to deny or cast away in unbelief…never allow yourself to fall into the temptation of unbelief. For Jesus told his friends how NOT to fall into temptation; and His words are intended for us as well today…pray! (Luke 22:46).
Continue to forgive us Father for our sin of unbelief and help us to BELIEVE.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Fingerprints of Love

Nothing too exciting here…just cleaning up around the house and beginning to edit chapter 1 of my book while the boys are away with Grandma and Grandpa for a week. I knew the editing process would not be as much fun as the initial brainstorming and writing has been. It’s funny how freeing it is to write and not worry about mistakes and concerned whether your thought was clearly stated and understandable; especially when a gal like me can tend to want to have everything as perfect as possible.

My husband and two boys have helped me break the perfectionist mold; but I can’t deny the fact that it likes to creep up every now and then. I’m left right now pondering just what exactly in life we have to get ‘just right.’ My new job, I know I need to be on time; they are big sticklers about timeliness but even with that you are given some grace. When my boys are in school we have to leave at the same time everyday give or take five minutes to get them there on time.

I’ll be honest if there are any stresses in my life they are wrapped around in some way shape or form my attempt at getting things ‘just so.’ Frankly, I’ve learned that God is the only One who can get things just so…the One who “churns up the sea so that its waves roar…who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth.” (Isaiah 50:15-16) The only One who does everything just right and on time is my loving God!(Ecc 3:11)

As I wipe up dirty fingerprint murals from my walls; I’m not sure if my boys lose their balance in this particular area of our house, and consistently plant their beautiful, grimy prints for support or if they are practicing their Picasso talents and attempting to paint a picture with the dirt and grime. All the same, I am just thankful for being reminded that although I can clean up this wall and make it look clean and new again—my God is at work completing all kinds of works inside of me.

One of these works that I know I need His help with is this book writing; but even more important than that is this little life growing inside of me that now has fingerprints of her own (or his own). As I am keenly aware of this life growing inside of me now; along with all kinds of other changes to my body right now I am also aware that my God…my heavenly Daddy is in control of ALL of it!

As my own fingerprints type away I can’t help but smile and rest in the glory of His presence for I know that I am sheltered by the fingerprints of God’s own mighty hands! (Isaiah 51:16)

And all who seek Him and acknowledge Him as God may see these same fingerprints too. Please feel free to email me if you want to know more about how to see these fingerprints in your own life...I promise I won't have you come help me clean my walls. The more I grasp how much my God loves me...the more I just desire for someone else to hear. God loves you!!