Tuesday, May 5, 2009


You gotta love reminders! Sometimes when I remind my boys to take out the trash or pick up their toys my oldest looks at me like he is not so pleased about my reminder…but when I remind him of how proud I am and how much I love him…I usually get a smile out of him.
Such was the same yesterday for me…and often God gets a smile out of me when He whispers sweet reminders to my soul. You see when I drove by those filters in my neighbors garbage can yesterday I felt God nudging me to notice and remember His love. I swear I heard God say, “I NEVER throw your dirty filters in the trash! I use it all!!! Whether your jar is full or empty due to your own insecurity, fear, resentment, bitterness, heartache, grief, shame, guilt…I have the power to heal you and I don’t need to get rid of what currently occupies or doesn’t occupy your heart to purify you and clean you up. You are already clean by my words spoken to you. Now remain in me .”
I could not resist responding with praise, a nod of agreement and a smile...for He has filled me with His love and with His joy!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Freedom and Flying From a Jar

I was on a walk in my neighborhood this past weekend and saw a young boy helping with some apparent chores of the house and hosing clean what appeared to be water filters of some kind. It was obvious he had a tall order ahead of him with the filters a dingy gray color seeming to not budge loose the debris that entangled the fibers. I instantly had compassion for him and wondered if he thought about just throwing them away and asking his parents to purchase new ones.
I felt a caution in my heart and thought of how we tend to want to go the easy route in this life. We are not patient enough and even though our God is all mighty and powerful and create things just by speaking…He does not honor our requests that way…and being a parent I know full well what instant gratification brings our hearts.
As I am typing this my eyes are drawn to the many sparrows that are filling up my lawn right now. They appear to be resting in the shadows of the trees and eating the Lord’s provision. As a few come closer to my living room window I remember the last time I saw a sparrow so close was when I was a little girl. My aunt had walked me up to the park to play and on our jaunt home we came across a bird hobbling in the grass. It became apparent that the sparrow suffered a broken wing. We managed to find a box and scooped up the sparrow and I remember watching my aunt tend to that bird for weeks and what seemed like months even years before she was able to set it free. I remember being very antsy to see the bird flying and free.
The same kind of antsiness (I think I just made up a new word…hee hee) is what I am feeling in my heart right now. You see when I walked passed the young boy cleaning the filters I remembered what I read in scripture about what Jesus does with our hearts…our jars. I’ve connected in my mind that the source of my living water is in my heart…and my heart is a jar held in Jesus’s hands….in doing this I have connected two stories in scripture also, the story of Christ’s first miracle turning water into wine and also when Jesus talked to the woman at the well (John 2 and John 4). So my heart if my heart were a jar…
Jesus took the empty jars and had them filled full of water and turned them into only the best wine to be offered at the wedding celebration and then I love how the Bible tells us that the woman left her water jar when she encountered Jesus! You see I too feel like I came into this world with an empty heart that has been full of all kinds of things that easily flow when we live life alongside people who are human and sinful in nature. Sometimes my jar is full to the brim and other times my jar is rather empty due to either others sipping from my jar or by me recklessly spilling it or just by plain natural evaporation it is left empty.
Yet, all the while, Jesus is taking what my heart is and making it new. Nothing less and nothing more…just all that I am and all that is within me, He is taking and making it ONLY the BEST for preparation of the day I will partake in a HUGE wedding celebration with my God. And I too like the woman at the well, since coming to meet my Jesus have left my heart at His feet. Entrusting my heart to Him and Him alone because He is so trustworthy!
It is all so freeing…just as my aunt eventually freed that sparrow…my heart is free! So, when I see things in this life that may discourage me or remind me of our nature or evil in this world…like the filters which were being made clean by the boys’ hands, they ended up in my neighbor’s trash by afternoon after all…it is okay because God is trustworthy!
We too, like the woman at the well can be free and ever so encouraged to say…”Come see…” For my heart is held by Christ’s hands…It’s weird, I’m afraid I can’t explain it without seeming freaky in some way; but I almost feel Him physically reaching in and taking a hold of my delicate tender heart. Oh there is such beauty here and I remember my husband’s grandmother confirming me of my beauty…the best kind of inner beauty…she expressed noticing a restful quiet Spirit settling in my heart and when we are held the deepest questions of our heart are answered! (What a blessing, I cherish the words of a woman who bore no natural birth of my own family line…yet loved me with the love she received from God). I also treasure the truth in what Stasi and John Eldridge communicated in their book “Captivating.”
“Yes, Our God has been and will continue to pursue you. Our God finds you lovely. Jesus has moved heaven and earth to win you for Himself. He will not rest until are completely his. The King is enthralled by your beauty. He finds you captivating.”
My prayer is that in reading this some hearts in addition to mine have come alive!!! All the glory to you my mighty King!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009


I was chatting with my girlfriend on the phone treasuring the sounds of a new baby hungry and beckoning for milk. The sweet new bundle I could not see; but I heard the yearning noises and probably because it wasn’t my tired body needing to attend to the baby I pleasantly adored the sounds. My friend on the other hand was sharing her joys currently shadowed by exhaustion.
She was sharing with me the frustration inside of not going anywhere or doing anything but caring for this newborn with feedings and care needed day and night….I found myself picturing the beauty in what she was describing as I got off the phone with her and heard her murmur ‘Shhh…”
I recalled hearing the shhh early this week…and again earlier this month….I recently have been pondering the act of doing and how I tend to feel sometimes more sufficient when I can do something and check something off of my list. Having something to do definitely brings me satisfaction; yet I know my God beckons me to be still…more descriptively, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10.
And I wish you could hear my LOL as I am hearing my boy right now making the “Shhh..” sound while playing with his trains (Normally I know it is choo choo…but at school they just learned the blending sounds of the letters S and H….)
Oh, how I love the reminders…they are no coincidence.
Just like the morning I was on the baseball field…I had just enjoyed some time of prayer with God prior and was asking Him to show me how to refrain from doing and rest when there was so much to do and to just ‘be.’ I really want to just be still and reflect; but I know He is also beckoning me to do some things too. I was aware that I needed God to help me figure out a balance.…I needed Him to show me.
When I got to the baseball field I sat my beach chair down on the clover filled field and gazed out at the boys warming up. My eyes were drawn ever so gently to a bee right in front of me as tears rolled down my cheek I knew God was whispering…JUST BEE!!! I smiled as I thought about the joy the bee finds in flying from flower to flower doing what God designed Him to do.
I felt a challenge and question arise in my heart, “Can I be like a bee and do what God designed me to do?” In a weird way I felt like I recommitted my days to Him…re-committed to BE STILL…re-committed to keep after knowing Him and shhh….bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
It reminded me of another scripture, Jer 6:16 “Stand at the crossroads and look, ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is and walk in it and you will find rest for your souls.” What a treasure it is to talk to our God and listen to what He has to say…help us Father to choose the quiet moments before we start walking and lead us to the rest we know we need.