Just the other night I watched my brother play in a concert, he has been playing the electric guitar for quite a few years now and recently started playing with a group of kids his age led by a few adults who have taken to teaching them…and encouraging them in their musical pursuits.
It was such an awesome thing to watch! My brother is approaching 15 and is exuding many of the qualities of a teenager. He even had a red hair piece put into his hair to add to the rock-band persona. As I watched him play I felt like his second proud mother! I had flashbacks of holding him as a baby and remembered him as a toddler dancing the night away as my little ring-bearer at my wedding almost 13 years ago…
My brother played so well, and just looked so natural. As I watched him, I also watched my own boys and nephew as they only took their eyes off of him to imitate and play their own air guitars. Their smiles from ear to ear and participation with the music exuded their love and support.
Afterwards we hung out with my brother for awhile and I talked with my mom and she shared the day’s events leading up to the concert and how nervous and insecure my brother was and that he even had second thoughts about playing—after talks of being so excited about it weeks earlier; I was shocked! My brother--insecure about playing the guitar?? He is so good and sometimes—like a normal teenager, talks like he knows he is so good. How can he be insecure???
Hmmmm….as I asked that question to myself in my own head I felt myself resonating with that. Aren’t we all insecure? I felt God agreeing with me as He knows I so often am talking to Him about my own insecurities.
I remember talking to a friend recently who spoke to a large group of people and it is not something that she is eager to do; but she told me how God gives her the strength every time. ..this led me to think about something recently that I was pondering about my own security…
I used to battle with insecure thoughts constantly; and it still tends to rear its ugly head and the enemy so knows how to push my buttons. I don’t think it is any coincidence that the times of my greatest struggle with insecurity were also my greatest memories of being used by God. God gave me the desire to speak up in front of hundreds—almost thousands of people when He wanted me to speak and He covered all of my insecurities. God is so grand and led me to scripture that speaks of His great love for me and my ability to be secure in Him. God alone is strong enough to suppress my insecurity whenever it seems to surface in my life.
I feel like there is a meter inside measuring my insecurity/security…I think extremes of either one are dangerous. I never want to be so down on myself or oh so sure of myself. I can easily pull out all sorts of books and make my lists of things to do; some things that God even wants me to do to stay balanced in this—yet I just seem to hear Him constantly whisper His desire for me to be connected with Him. When I am His friend; just like any other friendship; I am able to listen to His wisdom and advice that speaks to me secure words of who I am in Him.
Not always, but often I feel God nudging me to do some things that are a little uncomfortable, and I tend to feel a little insecure about myself before I do them—whether it is speaking in front of a large group or just going next door to talk to a neighbor. I am learning that stepping out and following these promptings that seem a little less than desirable at times…I am blessed and have the opportunity to stand in awe of my God and His love for His people.
How about you? Are you secure? Are you holding back out of insecurity? Are you feeling imprisoned by insecure feelings or shaken by any particular circumstances? Get into His Word and break free from those chains that bind you and wrap yourself in His love!
One of my favorite truths, from Psalm 16:8, “I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.”
I also found it interesting that in my search for the word “security” in the Bible, the word was only found in the Old Testament and mostly pointed towards people’s longing for security and safety. I wonder if it isn’t found in the New Testament because God’s plan is for us to find our security in and through Jesus. Hmmm…may we look to Him who can and desires to secure us in every way! May we live secure in Him and then love all with this secure love…I think we all could benefit from being touched by others with this secure love. I know my brother-just a regular teenager has benefitted from others in his life who have loved him and encouraged him to rock on--may we rock on an be rock-stars for Jesus!