Tuesday, October 28, 2008


I’ve recently thought about going back to school to further my education –education on life that is. And I think I want to go back to Kindergarten. I’ve heard someone say once that all you ever needed to know you learned in Kindergarten.
I watch the little hearts of these five year olds and sense their desire for approval and support. They hesitate to share what they know one minute and then exclaim with great confidence the next minute. I so can relate to that! I see simple truths clicking so quickly with my own five year old son and can’t help but pray for his little heart.
Lord, please guard his little heart from this cold-dark world. Enlighten him at just the right times and empower Him with Your Spirit to love-love-love all who cross His path even through seasons when the coldness and darkness seems to be all that is present for a time.

Just as soon as I pray for him; I feel the Sprit nudging me to do the same…I am 7 times the age of those Kindergarteners with 7 times the number of stories and 7 times the number of hurts and experiences and 7 times the number of discouraging moments and so could be prone to crawl inside my own little cocoon. Yet, all the glory to my God…my heart is still just as tender as those 5 year olds and at times my heart seems to be just as vulnerable and at the same time just as light and free because I know YOU love me!
Lord, please help me to rely on You…specifically Your Holy Spirit that dwells within me. Help me to always be quick to forgive this fallen world and love-love-love!
May the desires of my heart be more and more like Your heart and less and less from the selfish heart I was first born with!
While thinking about Kindergarten; and praying for my son’s heart and son ran up to place a sticker on my shirt. The sticker was a caterpillar that had the word “Smile” on it!
I instantly felt God smiling and loving me. It wasn’t anything mystical or anything that I felt—no direct audible message to my ear and I didnt' see Him standing next to me. But I felt His Presence in a way that I cannot even express in words—I instantly thanked Him and embraced my son in the process!!! (Isn't it so like God to love us and then cause us to love others?)
Only God can transform me and you like that smiling caterpillar on the at sticker…and even though this process takes a lifetime and is full of ups and downs… there is not a human-sized cocoon that we must enter first. Only God is able to empower us with His Spirit and equip us for freedom like the butterflies flying from flower to flower are able to experience while we are still at this phase of life living as hungry caterpillars.
Sometimes I feel like I am wandering in this world so hungry for love and acceptance and when I look to His Spirit to fill this emptiness He so comes through for me!!!

Only in Christ can we be freed in surrendering….God alone can offer us freedom in the act of surrendering!! It makes no sense; surrender and experience freedom? Yet I think my Kindergartener is beginning to grasp this know somethings I think we grasp concepts better with our heart than with our head.
I don’t know about you…but I have a desire to go back to Kindergarten and learn a few more things…and hear my God with a five year old heart.

Praise you Father that my son knows about You and knows that You love Him! I know he hears Your voice affirming Him now when he is only 5 and I can’t wait to see the man he will become because of Your love that is continually pouring into his heart!!!
Help me to love like you love…and thank you for continuing to heal this heart of mine!

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