Oh, it just seems piercingly wrong to think about death...just morbid. I can almost feel myself rush into a depressed state and can quickly get lost in a sea of emotions. I'm training myself to think of Jesus when the whirlwind of emotions come (This is indeed a lifelong training I am on with Him). How often must it have been on Jesus' mind while He was here living? How often did Jesus think about His death and sacrifice? Who thinks about such things in this life?
The Lord brought this verse and this idea that I must die to my head and I've been wrestling with it for about a week now.
I read John 12:23-24 where Jesus is telling his disciples that He must die, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
And 1 Cor 15:36-37 "What you sow does not come to life unless it dies."
And John 13:31&32 These were Jesus' words after Judas left "Now is the Son of Man glorified and God is glorified in him, God will glorify the Son in himself and will glorify him at once."
I processed through these words and circled and highlighted and I dont' know about you, but I was left with this question playing over and over in my head. "Is my life glorifying God?" Am I giving God glory in my life? And in the loving way that God speaks He was telling me to die--This is where the emotions came into play for me. Lots of thinking and praying and what is it that I need to give up and surrender (more of all of that is to come)But don't miss the best part...there is a reason He wants me to die...He wants me to come to life!!!
Oh Jesus, Halelujah! Thank you Father for the example you set before us and for Your GREAT LOVE!!
He desires great things for me and He cannot do His work in me if I do not choose to fall to the ground and die. I guess it is true that in God’s currency, the only way up is down.
The first words I could muster out of my mouth upon praising Him were YES! YES LORD!! I know enough now in my walk that with obedience there is joy and even if I dont' understand everything...I know and trust that He will send the joy.
I surely want the Lord to be glorified in my life and I know that His wisdom and plan for my life is far better for me than any of “J Girl's Wisdom.” Oh please…Lord empty me…kill off anything that would hinder me. Help me to grow and develop into the woman you have intended for me to be. A woman who embraces differences, a woman who loves like You love, a woman who can surrender and follow You every breathing moment.
I don’t know about you, but I've tried living on my own and it's tiring--flat out exhausting! Now that I know what living is like with His Presence...now that I've experienced a taste of His plan it has more life, more joy, more love than I have ever experienced!!
So, do you want to die like a kernel of wheat with me and plant ourselves in the soil of our God and watch Him grow us up into the women He intended for us to be? I feel He is preparing me and all the girlfriends around me for something BIG...something ONLY God can do!!!
I'm ready? Are you? Let's allow Him to dig up the soil around us...let's embrace this uncomfortableness for a time and surrender to this death of our flesh...knowing what He promises in Isaiah 32:20: (Our loving God did not give me a command without a promise to hold onto...I just love our God!!!)
"How blessed you will be, sowing your seed by every stream, and letting your cattle and donkeys range free.”
I had to accentuate two words that just jumped off the page of my Bible...We will be blessed in dying and sowing our seed and letting ourselves be buried within the confines of God and His plan. In addition, we will experience the freedom found in knowing, loving and following Christ!!! There is nothing like the freedom found in dying to our carnal nature and living for our God!!
So, ask Him right now... where do you need to die in your life so that you can star living???!!!
I would love to hear from you...but even more I know God would :)
Love to you Girlz!!!