Monday, October 10, 2011

Three Times Is A "Charm"

It’s rare that another man catches my eye, but I couldn’t resist checking out a cute grandpa-ish man walking in the store. He seemed gentle but grumpy…reminding me of my own grandfather. I felt the familiar nudge to approach him and speak to him.

I’ve felt this nudge before, and I have come to recognize that it is from my heavenly Father who wants to share the love that He has given me. I wish I could say I obeyed in this instance and that I said ‘yes’ to God and allowed Him to use me; but it pains me and I am ashamed to admit that I failed to let God move by loving this man for God in that moment. [Insert very sad, broken heart and facial expression]

I heard God’s whisper clearly, but I immediately questioned it.

Did you really want me to approach him and ask him, ‘Where are you going?”

Fear instantly set in and my mind was flooded with thoughts as I walked through the store.
Will he be offended?...

Will he think I am insulting him?...

Will he reject me and think I am just whack-o?

I walked away with my heart ashamed, void and empty...I had missed it! Why? I knew the answer and the scripture came to my mind immediately, “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)

I immediately asked for forgiveness and asked God to heal me and fill me with His perfect love and help me to love others by allowing Him to love through me. I cried out to Him and asked Him to give me another chance, saying something like

“Please quiet my fears and give me the confidence to approach those next time with the love that you give me.”

I immediately sensed His presence and His peace and the words “Three times is a charm,” resonated inside my head. (I saw the grandpa in the store a total of 2 times before I left the store and failed both times).

I am deciding now that the next time I feel this nudge…I will act and obey and express love.

When I am afraid of being rejected and find myself paralyzed…

1. I will remind myself, “I am God’s servant, I am chosen and he has not rejected me, and I will not fear for He is with me.” (Isaiah 41:9-10)
2. I will be willing to share the love that He has given me. “Lord, please grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:12)
3. I will love for Him with the love that He has given me. “Since God has so loved me and freed me, I will love for Him.” (1 John 4:11)

It’s been 5 days since I saw that old man and I have not ceased to see his face in my mind and each time I have prayed for him. I sense God nudging me with each prayer to keep going and that He will provide another opportunity for me to love. Rather than get down on myself for missing the mark this time, I am looking ahead at what He has for me.

For, “I know I still make mistakes, but You have new mercies for me every day.” (Your Love Never Fails Lyrics by Jesus Culture).

I am looking forward to sharing soon the opportunity He provides for me to share His love. Will you join me girlfriends and let us not focus on the past but press on toward the goal of loving in truth for the One who first loved us!

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