Chillin' with my 3 1/2 Inch Company

“I know who is going to keep you company this week Mom!”
“Who?” I asked my little man who was staring right into my blue eyes just a few inches from my face.
And he exclaimed gladly, “The baby!”
The boys left just a few hours ago and will be gone for four days camping deep in the woods. And my son is right; just as baby is a big reason why I am choosing to skip out on this trip; he/she will be keeping me company this weekend.
Snug tight in my belly for another 5 ½ months me and baby are spending lots of time together. We spent the first minutes napping and then watching a movie. It was nice to just lounge and do nothing!
I’m taking advantage this weekend and doing lots of that. In addition, to a couple of other things, we are going to do some editing; I’m anxious to read and re-write the chapters of my book and yet I’m finding that now I am pregnant I’m a little extra emotional and I’ll need to run to the store for some more Kleenex before I begin.
I get teary eyed and overwhelmed with emotion when I think about how much my God loves me and all that He has done to demonstrate His love—but I know I don’t normally shed these many tears; so I am choosing to blame the added tears on pregnancy hormones.
Next, this baby is demanding a little bit more space and I had to break down and buy some maternity clothes and so we are going to spend some time re-organizing my closet. Putting away all my pre-pregnancy clothes for a few months in this very antique wardrobe treasure chest my husband bought me a few years ago and hanging up my new blossoming wardrobe. (It won’t be so glorious when I have to still wear it the weeks after baby arrives…I am not one of those women who bounces right back into her skinny jeans).
Then baby and I will be heading for a date with Grandma—my mom! We’ll see where baby wants to eat and then maybe some shopping and the theatre. Oooooo I can’t wait!!!!
In between that I am hoping to catch up on some phone calls and read some more of my new Francine Rivers book. I’m reading “A Lineage of Grace,” and it is FANTASTIC!!! I love how captivating eachstory line is—there are 5 stories and they are right out of the Bible….God is a great author and Francine does a wonderful job adding details that make you think deep.

So me and baby about 3 ½ inches of he or she will be chilling in the AC this hot summer weekend in AZ...keeping each other company. Between this growing belly and the occasional flip flops and poking sensations that I feel I can’t deny that he/she is here with me. As surreal as it may be and as tempted as I am to doubt that I am going to have another baby after all these years of questioning/praying/hoping…I am not dismayed.

You see, this past January I asked my close girlfriends to pray for me and our family; I knew that time was changing this late-20's body of mine that first bore children. I knew that I was content being a mother of two boys but Justin and I were praying about making things final after 7 years of trying to have a third baby. I burst into tears in front of my dear girlfriends as I spoke of the finality of this hope and realized that deep inside I did still indeed have a desire for another baby; yet I told God over and over that I never wanted to long for something that He did not have for me-so if the answer is no, I will accept it with joy!
Now 6 months later, and there is no denying that I am with child. As I lay quiet and resting this week, I heard His Word which spoke as a whisper in the deepest recesses of my mind and heart and I’m declaring this baby a miracle of God's power and love…
“This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD’s name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.” (Isaiah 55:13)
Makes me ponder the things in our minds that we try to deny or cast away in unbelief…never allow yourself to fall into the temptation of unbelief. For Jesus told his friends how NOT to fall into temptation; and His words are intended for us as well today…pray! (Luke 22:46).

Continue to forgive us Father for our sin of unbelief and help us to BELIEVE.

Fingerprints of Love

Nothing too exciting here…just cleaning up around the house and beginning to edit chapter 1 of my book while the boys are away with Grandma and Grandpa for a week. I knew the editing process would not be as much fun as the initial brainstorming and writing has been. It’s funny how freeing it is to write and not worry about mistakes and concerned whether your thought was clearly stated and understandable; especially when a gal like me can tend to want to have everything as perfect as possible.

My husband and two boys have helped me break the perfectionist mold; but I can’t deny the fact that it likes to creep up every now and then. I’m left right now pondering just what exactly in life we have to get ‘just right.’ My new job, I know I need to be on time; they are big sticklers about timeliness but even with that you are given some grace. When my boys are in school we have to leave at the same time everyday give or take five minutes to get them there on time.

I’ll be honest if there are any stresses in my life they are wrapped around in some way shape or form my attempt at getting things ‘just so.’ Frankly, I’ve learned that God is the only One who can get things just so…the One who “churns up the sea so that its waves roar…who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth.” (Isaiah 50:15-16) The only One who does everything just right and on time is my loving God!(Ecc 3:11)

As I wipe up dirty fingerprint murals from my walls; I’m not sure if my boys lose their balance in this particular area of our house, and consistently plant their beautiful, grimy prints for support or if they are practicing their Picasso talents and attempting to paint a picture with the dirt and grime. All the same, I am just thankful for being reminded that although I can clean up this wall and make it look clean and new again—my God is at work completing all kinds of works inside of me.

One of these works that I know I need His help with is this book writing; but even more important than that is this little life growing inside of me that now has fingerprints of her own (or his own). As I am keenly aware of this life growing inside of me now; along with all kinds of other changes to my body right now I am also aware that my God…my heavenly Daddy is in control of ALL of it!

As my own fingerprints type away I can’t help but smile and rest in the glory of His presence for I know that I am sheltered by the fingerprints of God’s own mighty hands! (Isaiah 51:16)

And all who seek Him and acknowledge Him as God may see these same fingerprints too. Please feel free to email me if you want to know more about how to see these fingerprints in your own life...I promise I won't have you come help me clean my walls. The more I grasp how much my God loves me...the more I just desire for someone else to hear. God loves you!!

Movin' and Groovin'

About the size of a plum...that's how big he or she is growing inside this belly of mine. I'm just about 11 weeks and just earlier this week I felt him or her movin' and groovin'. It was a swoosh-flip-flop kind of feeling and thinking about it again just makes me smile.

Before I found out I was pregnant I wrote Psalm 84:1 on my bathroom mirror and I haven't erased it yet!

How I long and cherish for the moments in my day where I am able to get away and be at home with my Lord...in His dwelling place. (His dwelling place, I know is anywhere and anytime; thanks to my sweet friend Jesus). In the same way I am looking forward to the moments I will have with this precious child. What a joy and privilege it is to walk this 9 month journey once again. And it always help to embrace this journey when the haze of nausea and exhaustion begins to lift.

Hands and Feet

WOW! It’s not even lunch time and I just woke from a little morning nap. I’m baffled by this incessant need to rest and sleep that has overcome me this week. I’m thankful that I am sleeping so wonderfully at night; but this 8-10 hours just doesn’t seem to be enough. I was in my comfy jammies and ready for bed before the sun went down last night and I could not wait for my nightly motherly duties to be complete so that my head could hit the pillow.
This morning I asked God for energy to get some things done that I have put off this week because of my sleepiness. His answer in the moment was no as I couldn’t fight the urge to rest this morning after breakfast and my workout.

I exercised a bit thinking that would get me going and while I was riding my exercise bike I felt the Spirit nudge me to notice these finger paintings on the wall…they are quite a few years old…at least 5 or 7 years ago when my boys hands were much tinier and much more fascinated with finger paints and I was into the delight on their faces as they got their fingers in the gooey paints.

The finger paints reminded me what I read earlier this week about this growing baby inside of me. God is developing his or her hands and feet in my womb this week. As I try to wrap my mind around this marvelous wonderful act, tears fill up my eyes.

To fully realize that God is doing a miracle inside of me right now is both humbling and inspiring. God knows exactly what these hands and feet will soon be getting in to and I pray that they become vessels of His love and Kingdom work.

Oh, Lord, may the light of your face shine upon us—specifically this precious new life you are weaving inside of me. I surrender to your work yet again, laying down my desires. The chores of this day will wait for Your proper timing. “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8) Obviously, you desire for me to rest while you do your wonders creating some precious hands and feet!

Surprising Expectations

Oh, I can’t believe I missed a whole month of not posting on my blog.

April was a busy month full of lots of writing and preparation. I was able to complete quite a few chapters from my book and now I only have 5 more to piece together (praying May will be the month to finish these up so I can edit over the summer). This month I also prepared for a conference with MTS (Mending the Soul Ministries); not to mention I started up an aerobics class 4 days a week…all of that led up to me being able to say… “I’m expecting!”

Expecting specifically baby #3 this coming December. The big news was found out first on Saturday, April 17th and I just had my first OB appointment this week; and so amazing to see this little tiny seed already have a heartbeat of 120bpm. I got teary eyed and filled with such joy as this little light shown right from the center of the sweet pea in my belly…thumping away exemplifying every bit of life
I’ve embraced a whirlwind of emotions since first realizing I’m pregnant, and I admit the least glamorous mood that reared its ugly head and tipped me off first to take a pregnancy test was a heightened awareness of my irritability. I tried to keep this ‘ugly head’ under wraps between God and I…and laugh about it whenever I could…hormones are really strange and unpredictable and if I could escape them right now I wouldJ
With God’s help, exercise, eating right and enough rest I know I can keep these mood swings at bay.
The same way I am keeping these moods under control by surrendering them to God—I am surrendering my fears. I am a bit older this time around than I was when I was pregnant with my boys. The risks of the baby having chromosomal problems increased when I skipped over that age of 35. As I listened to the doctor rattle off all the ‘could happens’ and all the tests to verify the chances and all the risks…the verses from Philippians 4 came to my mind….and as I’m typing this up right now; I got on www. Crosswalk.com and typed in the chapter and had to chuckle because 2 verses were highlighted in pink and 1 verse was highlighted in baby blue. (I’M NOT LYING!)
When I clicked to copy and paste it HERE in my writing, it would not carry over the highlighted part…so weird and I just have to think that God is speaking these verses over me and this precious baby: First highlighted in pink was this: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” (Phil 4:8-9) Then highlighted in baby blue was the following scripture “I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Phil 4:13)
I’m clinging to God’s truth again and again; as baby and I rest in His loving arms. Pink-blue-boy- girl…I entrust these emotions and the health of this baby to God…He will meet all of our needs. (Phil 4:19)

Critters are Hungry

Clickity, Clack—slurp-chomp! My quick strokes on the key board were interrupted by noises coming from—my not so little any more—kitty, who was devouring my lunch that I left sitting on the table. Ugggh!!!
I quickly jotted on my grocery list “kitty food,” and proceeded to finish writing and then was reminded of what we thought this little kitty might have eaten…
Oh, the drama in a house with critters and boys full of wild imaginations. And the bigger the critter the louder their jaws go a smackin--why can't they eat like cute little ladybugs? Furby, my boys’ pet hamster was quite the escape artist in his early days and low and behold he was missing again…
My boys quickly came up with the culprit in his escape and investigated the cat’s belly…surely our cat who loved to lounge like Jerry next to Furby’s cage all the while staring and salivating at the hamster's every move.
I didn’t tell my boys; but I actually prayed silently that Furby would be found soon or if we did not find him--he would be dead in kitty’s belly. Now, don't send the pet police to my home please--I only don't want to find him dead in the corner of some dark closet space--I don't think I could handle the order or the sight.
Then to our surprise this morning…noises were coming from the cage. An unharmed--tail and limbs intact Furby was playing and eating safely in his cage. Dad must’ve found him I thought to myself but the boys mustered up again an epic adventure of Furby finding his way back home to eat. “He must be hungry!” My boys exclaimed.
All this drama made me actually grin a little and led me to ponder the question, "What am I hungry for?"
Now that I’ve retrieved my lunch back from the cat (yes, I still did eat what was left…I too was hungry). I chomped and chewed--like a lady of course-- and thought a little deeper beyond the food I was enjoying. I realized that down somewhere in my bones there was a deep-seeded hunger for healing, restoration, and redemption!

In my life right now, so many are having to endure--endure chemotherapy…endure emotional pain from the loss of a loved one-loss of a relationship…endure stresses from financial hardships.
As I reflect on these trials that all people endure during this lifetime, I am also nudged to remember...especially during this week leading up to Easter, the particular hardships and pain which Christ endured.
I’m clinging to Jesus’ words…and finding such comfort—such food for my hunger…”Yet, I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:32-33).
I feel a question rising up inside of me..."What are you hungry for?" And my sweet Jesus's words come to mind again, these words in ways I cannot explain...bring me peace and satisfy.

“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.” (Luke 6:21)

When I find myself running either free in a spacious place or in my own hamster wheel of life, I will remember where I call home and embrace my Father's Words!

Just In Time to Dream

“God does everything just right and on time, but people can never completely understand what He is doing.” (Ecc 3:11 NCV) This promise I've read in God’s Word, written in my journal, and now tonight at just the right time- they fill my mind and bring peace.
It's late...late for me to be writing; but the week has been full with my boys on Spring Break-in other words my writing time has been squeezed out by games, legos, baseball practice and more games-and I need to get this post written in time...I will tell you why in just a bit...

If you know me, you know that my God given passion is to connect women both to the heart of God and with one another. At first, God showed me this as I taught Christian aerobics classes, then by Mom’s groups and Bible studies and now there are all kinds of ways God is opening the door for me to utilize this gift of connecting and inspiring women towards the heart of God and the heart of other women.

In addition to speaking at various functions to encourage and inspire women with the redemptive life story God has given me, I also teach an Elementary Sunday School class with my husband; serve along side other servants at Mending the Soul; I have written 2 Bible Studies, and am now halfway complete with a book which God has placed on my heart titled “Ladybugs On the Beach.”

God has placed this book on my heart…a book inspired by my search of God through the scriptures and finding Him everywhere…including on the beach where I received the gift of many ladybugs. My desire is to be transparent in this life and allow people to see both the highs and lows of walking this life holding Jesus' hand. It all came together for me one spring day when God brought many ladybugs along with whispers of His love to me on the beach…and it ends—well you will just have to wait and find out!

When can you find out? I wish I had a date for it to be published but I don’t have the details yet and that is where I feel God reminded me of She Speaks; when I saw this scholarship opportunity offered by Cecil Murphy.

I first heard of SheSpeaks Conference a few years ago and dreamed of attending with a friend of mine who also enjoys writing. And then again last year I was reminded of it and could not find anything like it closer to me and asked the women who were attending my Bible Study last year to pray with me about attending last year and well—dare I use the phrase which seems to be becoming a cliche…’this economy.’ The amount for the conference plus airfare for me to get there is a hefty amount for my one income family right now; but I trust that if this is the next step…God will provide.

The She Speaks Conference is for speakers, writers and women ministry leaders and equips them to do the work God has placed on their heart. I am interested in all three aspects of this conference with recent doors opening to speak, write and cultivate a cohesive God-fident team of women which God has called to “bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the broken-hearted.” (Isaiah 61:1) God has wired me for this and I am so hungry for the tools to propel me forward.

God has brought me to a spacious-wide open place where I have been free to dream…I am

trusting that He is leading me to paths of righteousness for his name’s sake (Psalm 23:3) and maybe…just maybe this path includes She Speaks 2010.

I encourage you to do the same...dare to dream and embrace whatever it is that God has before you...He does everything just right and on time! Speaking of time...I need to get to bed...and if you want to join me and enter to win 1 of 3 scholarships just click here. Hurry the deadline is NOW March 26, 2010!